"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."
“Hello, ladies, look at your dad, now back to me, now back at your dad, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a bus with the man your man could smell like. Anything is possible when your dad smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on a porch.”
I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times. -Bruce LeeFear aside, I'd like tickets to the one-legged kicking contest.